I just wanted to write this letter to address a certain predicament I am in. It has to do with what you humans have been doing to the earth for the past couple centuries. I understand that you humans think that just because you use ten percent of your brains it makes you the dominating species, but that is no excuse to screw with the earth. I stood up with you humans for the last 5000 years as you guys started cutting down my trees and building societies off my abundance of raw materials. But now you are starting push it.
What are you trying to do to me? You cannot just come out of no where and screw with the perfect balance that I created. Do you know how long it took me to make the earth and all the creatures that coexist on it? Do you? To answer that for you, it took me a long time. And you humans just randomly choose to become the dominating species. You think that everything on the Earth is yours. Like oil, what's up with that? You are using oil and coal at such excess that you started up another global crisis. And now you guys are starting to complain because you have nearly depleted all of the oil I created for you. You guys are really starting to irritate me.
I mean don't get me wrong, I don't hate you humans, but you guys are really starting to walk a fine line. Let me tell you a story about another dominating species that walked the fine line. They were called the dinosaurs. And you want to know happened to them?
They became the oil that all you humans are using to kill the earth and all my hard work. I do not want to have to wipe you off the earth like I did to the dinosaurs but I might have to at the rate you guys are killing the earth. For heaven's sake you are about to start a massive climate warming that will probably result in a catastrophic flood and then a massive ice age.
Please do yourselves a favor and stop screwing around with me. Because I will bang you out just like the big bang? Take that into consideration, I beg of you.
Your eternal janitor,
Nature
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