Dear so called God,
How you doing? Has time been treating you well? It has been really nice to me. My soul hunting business has been going real well. My little minions have been grabbing souls by the thousands lately. That must be really bothering you. I mean you want to get your little children up to heaven so bad, but you and your stupid morals make you not interfere with their lives. I on the other hand interject into their lives all I want making them succomb to my will and join the dark side.
Oh it makes laugh so much as I imagine the look on your face as you see millions of your beloved children come to hell instead of heaven. Admission to heaven must be at an all time low. With all the new arrivals down here, I have had to increase the size of hell.
The large amount of arrivals has gotten so severe that I habe had to start thinking about denying admission. But then I think to myself, "Naw that will only make the S.O.B. up there happy so I'll just let them keep on coming."
I laugh when your children call you father. They should call you failure. You created them in your likeness so that they would live as you would; instead you created the perfect tools for me to torment you. For such a perfect, omnipotent being you do a lot of stupid things.
Well I have to go greet the new arrivals. Hope you have fun crying yourself a river.
Your better half,
The Devil
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